In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah,
who was now living in the United States , and said: |
'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.'
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
'You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no Ark.
'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark ?'
'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws
by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.|
We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation
demanded a bond be posted
for the future costs of moving power
lines and other overhead obstructions,
to clear the passage for the Ark 's
move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem.
There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -
but no go!
When I started gathering the animals,
an animal rights group sued me. |
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
The trade unions say I can't use my
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
'The government beat me to it.'